Thats right… Are you controlling your life or is your life controlling you?
I’m going to start this post by asking You
WHAT DRIVES YOU?
What is that motivation that steers you to do certain things?
or perhaps that stops you from doing certain things
See, yesterday we spoke about the 4 Crucial Steps to take
back your personal power, and if you haven’t read it or
checked the video yet, then I suggest you stop reading
RIGHT NOW and go ahead watch the video I posted
on facebook >>click here to watch the video<<
Did you watch the video??
The reason why I am emphasizing on you watching the video
is because you need the previous information in order to understand
correctly what I am saying now. I’m not saying you are silly or
something like that but it just goes like this:
Would you understand to multiply, without knowing how to sum??
would you go run a marathon without doing any training?
would you invest any money on the stock market, without
understanding how does the stock market work?
No, because you obviously want to understand how things
work first before making a big decision. Right?
Well, the same principle applies here.
By reading this posts and watching my videos, you are filling
your mind with VALUABLE information. You are INVESTING
in yourself, but you want to do it in the correct way and that is
by starting from… The Beginning 🙂
So once again, here’s my video and post from yesterday
for you to take a look … 🙂
>> Ok Ameli, take me to yesterday’s video and post <<
Alright, let’s carry on … Now that you know what is your
personal power and how you can take it back with 4 crucial steps
let’s go a bit deeper…
THE FORCES BEHIND TAKING ACTION – OR NOT –
Let’s face it, there is a lot of people in the world that wants to be successful
(whatever success means to you) people who wants to make a lot of money,
or make money online, people who wants to get that promotion or, ask that
special person to go out on a date, or maybe just go on a diet to lose some kilos.
Now that You know what it needs to be done in order to achieve your goals,
it seems easy, right? I mean it’s all about 1. knowing what you want and having
a clear vision of your outcome, 2. Taking the necessary Action towards achieving
your outcome, 3. Paying attention to your actions so you know if what you are
doing is taking you closer or further from your goal and 4. Being Flexible enough
to modify and improve those actions so ultimately you get closer and closer to
achieving your outcome!.
I mean IT IS SIMPLE:
Know what you want, take action, know what is working out and
keep changing until you have achieve the results you want.
Simple, Simple, simple!
But then if it is so simple why is it that a lot of people just can’t follow
through and stick to their goals? What is preventing them from taking action??
WHAT IS IT??
The answer is: FEAR, fear of failure, fear to being rejected,
fear of “being different”, fear of getting out of the norm,
or even fear of SUCCESS…
To make it clearer,
Our decisions and the way we do things are driven by:
These are the two controlling forces that are preventing you from
taking action. And you must have this clear in your mind:
EVERYTHING we do in life is based on our need to avoid pain or gain pleasure.
- Let’s say that Jen is a very busy woman, she knows she’s been out
of touch with her family and friends for a while. She knows that a simple
call will solve it. But, one thing leads to the other and she gets caught up
with work, emails, telephone calls, the gym, work, etc etc…
She gets CAUGHT UP.
- Jon, he is a guy who is overwheight, he knows he has to go on a diet
and eat healthier. He loves chocolate, big cheesy hamburgers and coke.
That’s his deal, he’s got no time to cook, so McDonalds, BK, Pizza Hut,
KFC –you name it– will work out.
He know he has to eat healthier, and it would be easier if he organizes
some healthy food and drinks some water instead of soda but then again
there’s too much work, staying late at the office, answering
emails, phonecalls, getting stuck in traffic and.. Jon gets CAUGHT UP.
And my final example,
- Have you ever left something up until the very end or somehow have you
found ways to push away whatever you know you HAVE TO do immediately,
but then you manage ways to distract with other things?
Yes, I am talking about PROCRASTINATION.But then again you just push things for so long that you get to a point
where you say “What the heck??”!”I better get this sh* done before
they get worse! And in a blink of an eye you do whatever it is
necessary (TAKE ACTION) to get things DONE.
This is procrastination reversing itself.
I mean, have you ever been there??
Now, can you relate to any of these examples in any-way?
Or do you know someone that you can relate to?
Yes? No? Just be honest with yourself.
In fact, I’ll be honest with you: I have, a lot of times.
Do you see what do the people in these examples have in common?
YES, They get CAUGHT UP.
They allow circumstances to drive and manage their lives
instead of them managing their own life by controlling how
they respond to circumstances around them. They have lost
their personal power and they NEED to take it back!
So WHY do we procrastinate?
Simple, because we have the wrong impression and/or
perspective, and we think that by not taking action we
will experience less pain than by taking action.
We have the wrong idea in our minds!
Subconsciously what you are really thinking is that the
idea of taking action now is going to be more painful
than actually getting things done and dusted.
Have you EVER feel like that??
Just think about it!
And WHY does this happen?? Because you haven’t learn
to control these two forces: Your motivating forces of pain and pleasure.
Don’t get me wrong, it is in our human nature, it’s part of our
survival mechanism to avoid pain. And your brain is just going
to fight like crazy to prevent you from doing something that is
going to lead you to pain. BUT (yes, there’s always a but) it
is here when you need to shift your perception.
This is when you need to PAY ATTENTION to WHAT YOU
LINK the ideas of PAIN AND PLEASURE to.
Now you have clear that it is part of our nature to do things
that cause us less pain and more pleasure. But then if there
are 2 different circumstances that are going to cause pain and
you have to choose one, naturally, you are going to go for the
one that is less painful. Are you?
THE NEED TO AVOID PAIN is a GREATER MOTIVATOR
THAN the DESIRE to GAIN PLEASURE.
Now that you know about these 2 principles of PAIN & PLEASURE
You need to create self-awareness and CONTROL what
you link these 2 principles to.
CHANGE what you link pain and what you link pleasure to.
Let me give you a simple example:
- It’s that time of the year when you need to file your taxes,
You have known for a whole year that the time will come
again and you knew that if you had things ready it would
be easier to file your taxes. But you didn’t, you got caught up
with other stuff in your life like…
“Oh m I’m too tired now, I’ll do it tomorrow, I still have some time anyway” or,
“Ugh, I don’t like doing that stuff…. I’ll do it some time” bla bla blaAt the end of the day, the time has passed and have you started
receiving notifications that if you do not file your taxes
within the next week you’ll be in deep deep trouble, you’ll
have to pay some fines, and things will just get worse…It is at this point when you decide to TAKE ACTION & GET THINGS DONE
But, it could have been WAY easier!
Do you see what happened here?
You though that getting things done, actually filling a simple
form online was “painful”, you thought in the “present” moment,
with short term results. But eventually, procrastinating
about it and “leaving things for later” had even worse
consequences that caused you a lot more “PAIN” and it
was only then when you decided to get things done.
BUT, what if you have thought the other way around?
Like, “Ok yes, I need to file my taxes, I’ll fill out the form
quickly, It is all clear and understandable anyway so then I’ll
have free time to do the things I really enjoy, doing things NOW
is going to save me from worries, from having to pay fines and
going through unnecesary stress”.
- If you are going through some financial struggle, things
seem to work out for a while, everything is going great!
But then all of a sudden, something happens and you start
sabotaging yourself, just when you were having some momentum.
WHY did this happen?
Because somewhere in your mind, you have the wrong idea
the money is bad, or as the media wants to make us think:
rich people takes advantage of poor people, and you are a lovely
person, you don’t want to take advantage of anyone,
You just want to help, inspire and serve other people or,
rich people doesn’t have time to be with their family so you just
decide to be poor to be with your family because you love them
and you care about them.
First of, ok the main reason why you are self-sabotaging yourself
is because you Love your family and you want to protect them,
you want to spend time with them. And that is beautiful!
But then again, do you see how you are causing more pain to
yourself and your family by not taking action? By stopping you
from succeeding and by denying your family and the people
you love the right to live the life all of you deserve?
Do you see how painful it is not having enough money to buy
some food for your family? Having to work endless hours at
minimum wage only for survival? Limiting yourself and your
family by making them go through more pain? A pain that they
DO NOT deserve at all…. When instead, if you could make
more money, like running your own online business and doing
whatever it takes to take action, you’d have the power to change
You’d be providing them the joy to eat healthier, to spend more
family time together. Because if you decide to take action
and for example, you decide to build your own online business,
your legacy, not only you will have the money to take them on
holidays and save for your children’s health or for university,
but you will also have the time-freedom to BE WITH THEM
AT ALL TIMES, to make them happy, to live that life of
fulfillment that YOU and your family deserve..
Did you see what happened here? You CHANGED the FOCUS
to a POSITIVE OUTCOME, to Gaining more PLEASURE by
avoiding the real pain.
So ALL you need to do is SHIFT YOUR PERCEPTION and
direct your FOCUS onto how not doing something is going
to be MORE PAINFUL than having to do so.
In other words: ASSOCIATE not taking action to being more painful
than actually doing it. Don’t wait until you’re out of time and
there’s so much pressure that you have to do something.
Save yourself from painful situations and just take ACTION!
USE this pain and pleasure principles to control situations
around you instead of having them controlling your life.
These principles work in ANY area of your life, whether it is
your personal life or your business life, whether if you are
finding it difficult to keep a relationship or struggling financially.
If you are sabotaging yourself someway or another is because
deep deep deep into you, you are linking pain and pleasure to the wrong ideas.
HOW do you link pain and pleasure to the right ideas??
Well, First of all CONGRATULATIONS, because if you are
asking yourself that , it means that you are now AWARE of it
and that my friend is the biggest and most importnat step.
Now, what is next?
#2 is Asking yourself WHAT is it going to mean TAKING
ACTION? What results are you going to get? What pains
and pleasures are you gonna get from it?
#3 Ask your self what is it going to mean not taking action?
What is it going to be the results in your life? What pains
and pleasures are you going to get? What extra pain are you
going to gain by not taking action?
#4 What would taking action mean to you emotionally, physically,
mentally, Spiritually? What pleasure are you going to gain?How are
you going to feel? Happy, Proud, More Confident, Stronger, Recognized, Admired…
Remember that YOU ARE ALWAYS IN CONTROL.
So decide to take control of your life now, choose what you FOCUS on,
and your behavior will steer in that direction, all by learning to
control pain and pleasure and what you choose to follow through.
What would you lose if you do not take action?
Are you preventing yourself from living an extraordinary life?
Do what is right for your life my friend, You deserve to live an
extraordinary life, you deserve a life of fulfillment so
shift your focus,decide to TAKE ACTION NOW, stop letting your
life controlling you and start controlling your life.
The World is YOUR OYSTER.
See you tomorrow on my next post,
Love & Light,
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